"Dot Net Dilemma®" by Darryl Williams
I have to confess that I am not a big fan of dying. Not that anyone is, of course, but there are certain circumstances that can make the prospect of death just a little bit more uncomfortable. For example, being wheeled into the hospital with an axe hanging over your head is one such circumstance. I mean, that alone is enough to make anyone's blood run cold.
But then there are the times when death feels like a friendly neighbor in the neighborhood. When you are suddenly confronted with a decision that will determine the course of your life forever, and that decision is as insignificant as buying a cheap knockoff brand of toothpaste instead of the real deal. It's not that it matters. It's the fact that you made the decision.
And so, I found myself standing in a hospital room, surrounded by monitors of every color imaginable, and lying on a bed that was hovering over a hole that was being dug in my skull. Their job was to save my life, and the doctor's job was to figure out how to do it. It was all very avant-garde, I must say, but I was too busy worrying about whether or not they would make a mistake and kill me to think about the design of the operating theater.
As I lay there, I couldn't help but think about the millions of people around the world who had gone through something similar before me, but with less flair and more fuss. I couldn't help but wonder what they had chosen to eat in their final hours, and whether or not they had regretted their choices. I mean, if you were going to die, you would want to have that KFC Extra Crispy chicken, or that Quarter Pounder with Cheese, or that Double Whopper with everything, right?
Maybe not. Maybe you would want a "turnovers deal" from Burger King, or a "Triple" from Dairy Queen. Or maybe you would just want to go with the old tried and true, like a good old-fashioned cheeseburger from McDonald's. But regardless of what you chose, it was all just a matter of deciding on that one thing that you wished you could have in your final moments on Earth.
So, there it was, the great debate of the century: Which burger would you want to enjoy in your last meal? Well, I can't answer that question for you. Personally, I was feeling a bit of an adventurer, so I decided to try something I had never had before, from a place that I had never been before. I decided to go with the "Triple" from Dairy Queen.
I figured it was a great choice, since I had never had anything from Dairy Queen before. And it's not like I had never heard of them before. I mean, they have been around since the late 1940s, so they must have something going for them, right? Plus, all the other fast food places had already been thoroughly picked over during my hospital stay, so it was time to explore new territory.
But as they were setting up my order, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something missing. Something big. And then, I remembered. I was having a burger, not a shake. I was having a sandwich, not a sundae. I was having something that was specifically designed to fill you up and make you feel satisfied, not something that was designed to make you feel hungrier than ever before.
And so, I decided to go with something that was specifically meant to make you feel full: a "turnovers deal" from Burger King. A row of flaky, doughy pockets filled with ground beef, melty cheese, and some sort of mysterious green sauce that I couldn't quite place. It was just what I needed, and I knew it.
So, there I was, eating my turnovers deal and watching the surgical team go about their business with deadly precision, all while pondering which burger I could have had instead. And while I can't say for
